THE WORSE PARTY EVA -- NYE

Do you have more fun scrapping dead corpses off a highway then bopping whilst a smart arse dj wanks all over the turn tables? Disappointed by unimaginative closet cases who take offense at rants about bodily fluids?! Over getting looked down on by prudes who don't appreciate your clandestine lust for midgets? Is the expense of supplying under dressed babes with sufficient cocktails to overcome their delusions of modesty leaving you poor, itchy and marinated in fake tan? Has your sexually indifferent feminist girlfriend turned out to be yet another closet heterosexual sex-negative man hater who says she'll fuck you only to take you home, slip into some flannie pj's and bitch about her ex?! Could you possibly endure yet another cosmic crystal healing patchouli infused gaia worshiping private school mummies boy that won't wear a franga because it 'blocks his kundalini' and refuses to pay for the abortion because of his stupid misogynistic judeo-christian pro life prejudice?!!! Disappointed every time you order a bottom sub twink online only to get a fat middle aged family man with photos of his children on the wall and his wife's name and face tattooed on his arse? Would you rather chew on used condoms then see another dummy sucking, glow stick waving dick stumble around in fat pants on more drugs than a cancer patient and less braincells than a seeping turd? Is your idea of a good time eating the rotten eggs frozen to the back of your fridge whilst wading in a pool of your own vomit and waiting for your junkie boyfriend to come home and rape your syphilitic cunt without bothering to rip out your rotting tampon or would you prefer to get hit on by yet another ugly bogan with an over inflated sense of male sexual entitlement? Do the fucking lesbian feminist whores who wrote this rant make you wanna masturbate with bleach in a confused battle of lust infused agony??

Well fucking tough.

No one cares if you have a good time, its just gonna cost you money and give you herpes. With DJs you have never heard of and music that's gonna hurt. Basically, only the most twisted, random and degenerative of you motherfuckers will survive. If your still considering if you should go, do yourself a favor. DON'T COME!!!

Clearly the worst night of the year to go out, the trauma begins on New Years Eve. If you wanna have a good time fuck off and stalk your ex at a better party. After ending 2009 with a night of sexual regret wake up to The Carnival of Rongness. Like sand in the lube, these are the worst days of your life. A day you will wanna forget with bloody period dramas, half hearted performances, dodgy rides, music to make your ears bleed and a fucking petting zoo. The agony will continue until the 2nd when we kick your sorry arse out.

Sooooooo...... still chomping at the bit to discover the trauma for yourself? Well I can tell you that this party is gonna happen in Gippsland... on a huge lake on a magnificent property... its a crap location for the worst party eva because it happens to be fucking beautiful!!!! Expect to camp for 2-3 days. Bushy shady camping areas abound in my pants and in the hundred acre landscape.
NO FIRES! Fire twirlers, pyromaniacs and dickheads with hero complexes will be shot. Alcoholic? BYO still and self loathing.
Blow your load and $20 bucks at the door....

Address is...
260 Honeysuckle Road Fernbank

Party kicks off like an egg fart at 8pm new years eve.

Make sure you tell your friends not to go!!

If there is something you have always wanted to do, a performance so twisted, a collection of music so disturbing or a structure so loathed send an email to theworsepartyeva@gmail.com and we will give you special time on our exclusive casting couch and then probably tell you to get a life and fuck off to Sensation, try hards.

:-*